By now most all of you have heard that Sarah Palin has been jumping the shark fantastic with lie after lie: The Bridge to Nowhere Lie, The Earmark Lie, The Chef Lie, The eBay Plane Lie, etc. This is not news. Nor am I here to tell you that she hates cats, which she does. (My guess is that they are simply too domestic.) Nor am I here to tell you that she seems to have a tendency to fire those who disagree with her or who are insufficiently loyal (shades of Bush). Nor am I here to tell you how she received a per diem from the sate of Alaska to live in her own home for over 300 days. Nor am I here to tell you about troopergate, and how Sarah loves to make the personal political and the political personal (Rove: The Sequel). Nor am I here to tell you that she is unwilling to allow the media to question her about her positions or actions. Nor am I here to tell you that those who care about family values should consider her violations of the Ninth Commandment. Oh, there are so many things that I am not here to tell you.
So what am I here to tell you? It is a revelation that came to me while I was pondering why the Lord would endorse Alaskan pipelines. I now know who Sarah Palin reminds me of, and this is no small revelation. It is something that we all need to take seriously because it is no mere surface resemblance. It goes to the deepest depths of who she is (which I must admit is at the shallow end of the pool), and what we might become as a nation if we select her to be a heartbeat or so away from the Oval Office. However, I must first offer a preface, especially for those under thirty.
Rocky and Bullwinkle are legendary cartoon characters in the U.S. of A. They are in fact heroes who have fought demonic threats against America. Rocky is a flying squirrel and Bullwinkle’s full name is Bullwinkle J. Moose. (Keep in mind that Sarah loves to shoot Moose–or Caribou, see below–and likes Moose stew, which is just disgusting when one thinks about Bullwinkle, an American icon.)
The great adversaries of Rocky and Bullwinkle are the Russian spies Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. Recently on UP@NIGHT, Larry Geater suggested that there is a resemblance between McCain and Boris (LINK). Now this is insightful, because if McCain is a Boris, Palin is certainly a Natasha. (Don’t forget about Palin’s foreign policy experience; you know, Alaska is close to Russia. And this makes her close to being a Russian, using the same sort of logic.) Now from the Bullwinkle.toonzone site, we learn the following about Natasha:
Real Name: Natasha Fatale
Occupation: Secret Agent
Education: Expelled from college
Tag Line: Hello Dollink.
Biography: Natasha was a former Miss Transylvania. She is believed to be the love child of Axis Sally and Count Dracula, although nothing has been proven (blood work, yum). When she moved to the “New World” at age 19, she had a part time modeling job with Charles Addams and another popping out of cakes at stag parties. Although Boris has asked for her hand many times, she refuses to part with it. “Its my hand dollink, he can get his own,” said Ms. Fatale.
Okay, just remember here that Palin was a beauty contest winner (2nd place), and went to five different colleges before she was able to get a degree. Natasha was expelled from college. (That’s close enough for me.) Both are ruthless, although they can appear to be charming and charismatic. Palin is fondly called the barracuda. Natasha’s last name is Fatale. But I don’t need to go into any long explanation. Let’s just take a look at John and Sarah and Boris and Natasha, and you tell me if I haven’t nailed it. (Keep in mind that Boris likes to blow things up, makes a lot of mistakes, gaffes of a sort, and always seems to get foiled at the last minute. Palin has that strange accent, which could have been Ruskie before speech therapy.) And if I have nailed it, the question is, just how screwed are we if these people get into the White House, that is, John and Sarah?
THE DREAM TICKETS, circa 2008, circa 1964. Slogan both times: THE MORE THINGS CHANGE……
Not Convinced yet? Listen here to the voices of Boris and especially to what they are saying. It explains everything, even the (Hail Mary) Palin pick. http://bullwinkle.toonzone.net/rbplan.wav
And here is a little bonus, what Boris (aka, McCain) really thinks about the American public. He’s talking to Bullwinkle, before Palin got to him. RIP http://bullwinkle.toonzone.net/hello.wav